Back Home & Tea
Another night at home, bright, passionate, lunar light spraying at the world beyond 144th St. screaming, “GO! GO! GO!”
I think that was God sending angelic encouragement and I, I reject like the fool, but instead sit at home, closing the gates of opportunity,
Watching the lights fade until all was abysmal as I took the last toke of Elitch,
and I don’t leave home, but wither like paper,
heart murmur,
Ka Cha! Ka Cha! Ka Cha Cha!
Buzzes reverberate my anxious body.
Paranoia
Eyes beaming:
Left is: closet, suitcase, and rucksack packed and ready to bug-out,
to the right: window, darkness, the wind whirling,
rain falling, airplanes flying overhead,
Sea- Tac! Pike! America!
And I’m going crazy sitting here watching my hair fall out,
“GO! GO! GO!”
And my heart is pounding,
Ka Cha! Ka Cha! Ka Cha Cha!
Ears still receiving painful, circulating, buzz, making me maddened like Manson.
Paranoia
Until I turn off the buzz, finally at peace.
Flavor is flavor again, coffee still bites,
and my eyes are tame,
and I don’t hear the voice,
“GO! GO! GO!”
and it makes me feel weak, or unfaithful, or disdainful, or none, or maybe all three.
But still,
Ka Cha! Ka Cha! Ka Cha Cha!
that pound,
that sound,
that rhythm,
Where am I today? Nearly two years alone, back at home,”Go home! Go moan!” three empty bank accounts, bills to pay, unpublished and just a grain of sand to the world.
Ka Cha! Ka Cha! Ka Cha Cha!
Omer is in North Carolina so high he sees the Wright Brothers.
Claustrophobic,
seeing the same bullshit on the news as I did every time I watch the news.
“Nukes in Iran.
Drugs causing animalistic behavior.
Unemployment numbers falling.
No new jobs found.”
A world losing care, isolated in billion worlds.
I turn the lights,
strip clothes,
and lye naked,
warm and locked,
claustrophobic,
in cotton bed sheets.
Ka Cha! Ka Cha! Ka Cha Cha!
hours in the darkness,
Ka Cha! Ka Cha! Ka Cha Cha!
* * *
I wake to the voice,
“GO! GO! GO!”
Kurt Swalander is a product of his travels. With the intent of absorbing every sensory experience, he hopes to create a new form of the literary vision. He has completed his first chapbook and hopes to publish by January 2014.
Copyright © 2014 by Kurt (Johansson) Swalander